Halle Berry Blames Her Anti-Semitism On The Jews

Breaking: Halle Berry reportedly made an innocent joke about giant Jew noses on The Tonight Show and then totally tried to cover it up by saying her “Jewish friends” told her it was funny.

Oh, Halle. See, how it works is, you have to actually be Jewish in order to crack anti-semitic jokes with total impunity. Having an imaginary Jewish friend or two (which is to say an accountant/agent) doesn’t quite cut the mustard.

Besides, if it’s awkward, nebbishy humor you want, go park your tuchas on the couch and watch a marathon of Curb Your Enthusiasm. (Or, for that matter, Woody Allen’s Manhattan.)

Either that or take conversion classes, round up a mohel for the unborn son of yours, learn how to burn everything (including toast) that comes out of your kitchen and start working on your “Oy, vey.”

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